03:55 pdt 04/22/2018

Subtle changes here and there have taken place this week. The prominence of REN is being displayed to match the sensitive references on the title logo. The menu remains compressed and will no longer carry the link to the other site. We are attempting to secure the domain which has eluded the staff for more than five years, and the time may be at hand for making that leap happen. Once the domain is ours, we will transfer the entirety of coma to that location and cease operation of all other funnels to this content. Time will tell of when we can make the change real.

The only other small item is the business name... it may change along with the domain. Simplification and focus.

One non-functional note. As the content here becomes pointed and the language strengthens during the story progression, we have decided to secure the matter with an SSL certificate and seal. They are in the works.

The Angel and the Addiction

Part Seven

read ( words)

"The ferry ride was cool and very smooth. Andrea's attention lifted me above the swell which kept up with the boat's engines, and the sound provided by so many vacationing families and their endless slough of excited children. The noise level remained low considering the sheer number of seats, but still Andrea and I floated inside our own capsule. She stayed against me, as if we were still in any number of Vegas bars. I held her around the waist as she beamed with love and excitement over where we were. As was the fashion, my arms found her smooth, sculptured body to be a land filled with softness and curves -- hands caressing her tummy (or lack thereof), and making as much contact as possible. She felt warm and wonderful. All around the lagoon were resort lights and the smell of pines. The sight of Disney's Magic Kingdom grew in the distance as we stood and held on tight. Her body was so comfortable, just as the dream of being very detached from the world we knew prior to that first gripping and fateful flight from DFW. As the ferry pulled in to the Kingdom dock, Andrea turned around and stated that everything was perfect. She looked forward to snuggling in whatever lines awaited us at the rides. Off the boat, through the gates, and into a land of enjoyment with that gorgeous creature fused to me. Damn.

Andrea stopped suddenly and turned to me, 'Holy shit, love. Look where we are!'

I smiled and grabbed her again, beginning the walk down Main Street USA. Lights, sounds, smells, and plenty of others around wondering why we were dressed to the nines. Whatever... we cared not. The walk was so nice anyway. Andrea looked fucking stunning wrapped in those Goddamned pants that I needed to swallow. Jesus, there was no end to the exotic curviness, and whenever we were out of eyesight -- even for a second -- I had to run my hand along that smooth fabric covering her unbelievable ass. And her reaction led me to believe that she wanted me touching all of her, as often as possible. Yes. I could not get enough.

Onward we continued, through the Plaza, and into Adventureland. I wanted to sit on the Jungle Cruise and hold her tightly, so we entered the beautiful queue and waited along with everyone else. Twenty minutes or so into the line, we boarded that comedic ride and plopped down next to the skipper. Andrea threw one leg over mine and snuggled in warmly. We refrained from gushing constantly, but that did not mean that the occasional peck was frowned upon. Family? Yes. R-rated? Nope. We kept the heat at bay and listened as the ride went along. Moments later she whispered into my ear all breathy and sexy, 'You are so wonderful, love.' Fucking hell, that floored me and once again my heart leaped into the sky. At the conclusion of the cruise, we disembarked and moved along through toward Pirates, within which the slow pace was right up our alley. We entered another fantastic wait and held close. I noticed other males trying to covertly glance at her ass, and upon each sighting I took one cheek in hand for posterity, displaying a prominent smile at Andrea simultaneously. She loved it, still eying me as if I could have bent her over anything and driven to town. Heh. The others kept a distance and I fondled at each opportunity. Her shape was just too much.

Pirates slowly meandered through its path, and as many times as I had ventured into that little trip in the past, the current ride took the cake in spades. The smell of her flowing hair, painfully obvious tapering thigh gap, and that voided midsection drew my attention from the characters around us, no matter the noise level. Andrea was too far inside me, and her posture when seated turned my head into a food processor. Everything else was on the periphery with no chance of prominence. Yep, not even the theatrical gunshots all around. The water and boat motion became soothing after spending so much time within the noisy machine that was Vegas. By the time we pushed up to the conclusion of that epic ride, Andrea was holding me with her head upon my shoulder. I lovingly told her that the more we were close, the more I needed to remain there in our little corner of the universe. There was no such thing as enough of any of it.

We left the "arrrgh" environment and decided to walk the park and take in all of the lights and sounds. Disney's work needs no description, nor does it ever disappoint. Their theming is impeccable and deeply involved, and the only things that could compare to the manicured landscaping were Andrea's beautiful fingertips. We enjoyed the slow strolling and absorbed the other visitors and everything which went along with a park of that magnitude. And then to the Matterhorn, despite the increasingly cold air. Neither of us cared because we could have quickly and easily generated enough body heat to warm the entire place. That sort of happened within the bobsled. Due to the tandem seating, Andrea was up against me in front. Oh boy did that get the furnace lit in a fucking hurry. As soon as we belted ourselves and rolled into the dark, she turned her head and wrapped her tongue around mine. At the same time, my hands left her tummy and went straight up to those warm and waiting breasts. The whole fucking ride duration felt like seconds due to our flaming desire, and when reaching the public eye once again we restrained and pulled away. Out of the turnstile she moved away from me, laughing, and pointed a finger as if to say, 'we can't be close in the dark or it is going to happen.' No shit. Another trip around the rails and I would have fucked her sideways right in front of the night-vision cameras.


Jesus God, Andrea's ass was a world in and of itself

So, anyway...

We visited Space Mountain which produced a similar result, except that time she tried to dive into my pants, thanks to the fucking side-by-side seating arrangement. More laughing, more ridiculously flirty behavior. We were on a high, and the lovely atmosphere and excitement only propelled us further up. The entire visit was a few short hours that evening, but still we experienced much before finally heading back to the ferry. The return was with fewer people and much quieter, but no less warm between Andrea and me. I held her as usual, and she squeezed back. Bliss. And we had so much more time there before making some kind of decision about where to go next. Our lives remained in the dark and we cared less and less each day. The love and heat between us was everything.

Back in the room found us relaxing along with a bottle of wine to take the edge off such a demanding day. We discussed what may come next, which led us to the idea for another park or the crazy theme of Pleasure Island. Either sounded good to me, as did the inside of that thong which had been up against paradise all night. I took control the instant I felt the conversation was over. Andrea looked at me with wide eyes as I began to remove her clothing. Socks, pants, halter, bra... leaving the little garment for last. Her toes were first, and then I paid strict attention to everything between them and her waist. Along the way nothing was left out, and her breathing amplified by the second. Inside her thighs, thong tossed aside, and I arrived at a place of which I had been dreaming for hours. Several orgasms later and I took to the sheets to rest. Andrea's eyes were still huge, yet half closed, and her hand was held to mine as if I was the only link keeping her from falling off a high bridge. I could feel her rapid pulse through the grip and simply awaited her calming enough to speak with me.

'Where did you come from?'

I stared at her and made it clear that I felt like no one special, just a person driven heavily to pleasing her at any cost. Apparently, I accomplished that in spades, judging by her sweaty look and trembling thighs.

'Anything for you, my dear, especially when we enjoy it equally.'

God love her, to no end. And He must have been a fucking genius for creating something so special. Andrea looked at me with the biggest, most emotional puppy eyes I had ever seen. She pulled me close and held on tight. I had been desiring her tenderness on my tongue for the entire trip, and when the opportunity arose, I made up for lost time.

'Keep me, love. Just fucking keep me.'
'Anything. And our lights are nowhere near closing.'

We remained there on the bed for a bit longer before de-Disneying ourselves in the massive shower. More longing, more gazing, and happy expressions from her beautiful eyes. Holy shit, where were we to go? Onward, with all other aspects of life continually shoved aside. Her heart and soul were dictating my elaborate plans, during which we lavished ourselves within all available avenues in order to maintain the high standard of enjoyment to which we had been accustomed. I had little ideas in my head and plans here and there to keep us close and comfortable. And as sleep approached, I knew that four more nights would only bring us more of what we needed.

In the morning we discussed where to go next, and after a shower full of soapy, loving care, the decision was made to take the Monorail around toward Epcot. That park held an array of fascinating attractions, tons of places to enjoy any number of cuisines, and a bit more relaxed pace than the Kingdom. Andrea dressed herself in those fucking tight jeans, below which her booties clicked upon the tile, just as that first arrival in the Venetian and its massive marble flooring. Oh my. Her leather jacket took a back seat to a lovely sweater, and the lingerie underneath stood out in bright blue with flashes of skin here and there. Gorgeous, shapely, sexy, and oh so enticing. Out the door listening to her shoes and watching that little ass create patterns of desire. Another day of longing was on tap, along with mountains of smiles.


That nonexistent tummy where my hands found their home

The Monorail ride was as smooth as Andrea's skin, yet not as appealing. Heh. The train meandered its way through the trees and past the lake, and her legs were once again thrown over mine, allowing me to stare more at the gap than the scenery. I eventually broke away from the animalistic mindset and discussed with her what awaited us in the big park. She held my hands and wished to have some themed pancakes wherever we could locate them. As the train moved past our previous night's destination, I realized we were taking the long way around the barn. Thankfully, there are only two directions served by the Monorail, and we would end up in the same place regardless of the train color. My head was full of everything Andrea, leaving little room for a map. No matter, those seats were big and warm, and combined with the two of us physically connected as always, the ride flew by like the trees. After a trip around the lagoon, we switched to the correct train at the TTC and relaxed.

'Pancakes, love.' Smooch.
'Yes, dear.'

The train slid into the Epcot station, we took to the pathway and rolled toward the big geodesic dome that was Spaceship Earth, touching with every step. Several times I fell back a measure of steps to watch her walk because I felt far too compelled. I had to see Andrea's shape over and over. She simply giggled with a hand over her mouth and those adorable, squinting eyes. Again we joined hands and entered that beautiful park, anticipating all of it -- especially the pancakes. Magic everywhere, but mostly in our hearts.

We ran across a small cafe and enjoyed a bit of breakfast before exploring further. I wished to snuggle in the big dome, so we made our way to the line, which was a decent wait. No matter, because each queue brought us up against one another and my heart swelled. I whispered loving words into her waiting ears which brought a squeeze to my hands along with a smile upon Andrea's gorgeous face.

'Where are we going, love?'

I had no idea. Nada. My world had been reduced to such a degree so as to push reality far away.

'I don't know, my angel, but we can slowly speak about it all day if you would like.'

We stepped along through the pathway and looked upon each other's eyes to see the unspoken caring and appreciation which drove us together days earlier, only after so much time the understanding and love had grown tremendously. I could not avoid the need to tell her over and over of how much I loved being there with such a soul. Andrea took in each word as if she was filling herself with the necessities of living. I saw it... always.

'Right now, we need to keep this going, ok?' Ooof.
'We certainly do, angel.' Smooch.

Every fucking time she offered that little glance up after a kiss, I was a puddle. She did have focus to a point, and that meant the idea of an end to our "whatever we're doing" had been in mind. She shared all of her thoughts with me, though often some time had to be allowed for her to fully explore. I looked at her and saw the wonder of a child in the park combined with the incredible soul showing through those windows. We spoke a bit more before boarding that slow, dim train through the dome, and the consensus was that a few more days of deep thought and heated sex would be best. Laughter, hugs, and lots of enjoyment the entire time. We seemed to be understanding more and doubting less. The idea of separating needed to be pushed away to maintain our utopian situation. And that is exactly what we did... push... as far as was necessary to keep moving forward. Still, the reasoning for our initial attachment remained unclear, and may have been the simple desire to connect and share the things which were lacking for each of us. That seemed the most reasonable explanation, anyway. I knew that Andrea touched me deeply, and I her. Otherwise, the world was clearly instructed to go and fuck itself. The feeling of detachment was wonderful, and as I swelled with loving thoughts, I grabbed Andrea and stated, 'I will keep this going as long as I am able, angel. Anything, ok?'

'I will do the same, love. Thank you for where we are.'

As the ride smoothly plodded along, we held close and enjoyed the obscured state of our car. Upon its conclusion and exit, I grabbed her again and hugged tightly, causing light tears in her emotional windows. Good god was the defiance increasing and our connection becoming solidified. Jesus Christ fresh off the cross could not have divided our hearts. We moved out of the dome and walked toward the lagoon in search of a few moments seated. We sat, relaxed, and eventually decided that five nights might not be enough. The parks were many and our time was not allowed to be short. At my earliest convenience, our stay would be extended a tad. Like three nights or so. And then we figured upon flying somewhere else. The destination did not fucking matter. Together, time, space, loving feelings, nothing more.

'Have you spent a lot?'
'The resources are coming out of my ass, my dear.'
Giggle. 'Ok, my love.'
'We can have whatever we want and need.'

And a big appreciative smile followed that statement, along with a hug I would not soon forget. Again her legs were tossed across mine as we sat a little while longer, watching others here and there. She rested her head on my shoulder -- as usual -- and I became unable to think of feeling more satisfied than at that moment. Her hair, soft touch, damn. Fuck me... Happiness like...

...Juliette, so many years earlier. Yes, that dreamy woman floated into my head just as I was reaching a high point of loveliness with Andrea. Holy shit. What a fucking slam to my heart. That was one of the most demanding times in my life, and one which surely could have sent me into a deep abyss with no outlet. I had to quickly squash it before Andrea looked upon my eyes or she would immediately know something went awry. My soul was completely open to her and I hid nothing at all. Push it. No more. Stop. Fuck. Calmer. Yes. Finally. And then she decided to look up at me again with that smile which caused the world to fly out completely. I recovered from the despair of the past, and Andrea's eyes caught none of it, but still projected so much love leaving me bereft of more spoken words. I could not help but love her from the depths of my soul. And keep the Goddamned fucking prior escapades with the dream crammed so far back that even I could forget. Ugh. Why did that have to interrupt our bliss? Damn it anyway. Keep out.


Diving into her sex without limit

Off the bench with my head spinning a bit from the reminder. Andrea kept on with her loving grip, and I did my best to return the focus to her, and nothing else. A few moments later and I found myself more relaxed and again looking forward to whatever was on tap. We strolled as always, and made a path around the lagoon through the different nations and their respective themes. The park looked perfectly kept up and was beautiful in the winter air. I held close to my loving companion, and returned all of the affection which was being poured over me. The peace and contentment of staying close to her, along with our severe separation from the remainder of life could not be considered high enough on my list of needs. I appreciated every single second of our trips. More slow walking and more looks which carried me outside myself. Wonderful. As we came upon Great Britain and its beautiful landscaping, brick, and flags everywhere, Andrea asked to sit again. We took a few minutes on another bench, and after a bit of a hug, she looked to me and stated that alcohol was sounding better and better. The light breakfast was burning away, so some type of bar food seemed a good idea. Unfortunately, anything other than beer and wine in one of the international restaurants was decidedly unavailable within Epcot. I asked what she wished, after which we headed into Canada for a beer. Naturally I would have driven to any park within the World -- or anywhere else for that matter -- if it meant pleasing her. I was in too far.

A little time in Le Cellier for a nice snack and a couple of drinks left me feeling the need for excitement, and that led me to pull Andrea into the massive queue area for Test Track. All of the automation, lighting, and the overwhelming technical aspects of that ride dramatically showed off their capabilities for taking guests far away from their everyday life and delivering them into another world. The place was incredible, to say the least. Andrea was unsure of a thrill ride with which she was unfamiliar, but I commented that it was unlike a roller coaster or other type of train. That ride is smooth with little effect of shaking a person like crazy. She clung to me like a frightened cat, yet still kept a smile upon that lovely face. I loved it. The more she held on, the more I reassured her that the trip would not be frightening. We rode, and she enjoyed the entire route. After exiting, Andrea hugged me and buried her face into my waiting neck.

'This is so relaxing and fun. Where to?'
'Stroll to one of the shows, maybe?'
'Ok, love.'

More loving glances, and we walked together toward the nearest indoor show building.

Two shows, another couple of beers, and one more trip around the lake sent us back to the Monorail. Lots of walking led us to hunger, and the rail could take us anywhere, plus the comfortable interior was a destination all its own. We discussed more of our trip, from the beginning up to and including Orlando. Andrea said she was feeling worry on and off, but pushing it away so as to avoid affecting me or our enjoyment. I expressed to that angel my concerns over us holding things inside and risking the construction of an emotional roadblock. Talking and getting through the difficulties we were both living through seemed a good path. She agreed and went further into the idea of us remaining there in the World and as comfortable as possible, allowing the type of space within which we could solve issues. There were many concerns, from where we were headed to the reasoning behind us becoming so glued together in the first place, and they included the need to ensure stability toward the future. I had to know she would be ok if and when the trip came to its end. I fucking needed her to be ok, and there was still so much yet to be uncovered.

Again Juliette popped into my head. The two women were similar, in that they were both extremely affectionate to the point of bringing me into a sort of fold which was beyond words. The nature of both of their pairs of eyes sent all of the bad away quickly and left me feeling as if I was safe and cared for. One of the aspects of my sorry life to that point which had me flabbergasted was trying to work on how I became so needy and with the compulsion to attach myself to any female which would allow me in. I was still very fucked up inside and once again drowning into a part-illusion and part-romance. My ongoing weakness with regard to women was the driving force behind me skipping off to Florida in the first place. I was supposed to be avoiding that type of thing, and getting out of town for sanity and relaxation. All of the up and down in recent months forced me to stay clear of many things into which I normally would have dove, and the eyes of an understanding woman were top of the list. Well, that went right out the fucking window upon reaching Texas, and from there the slope angled itself right into my depressive addiction. Throwing Andrea and the quick run out of Pensacola into the blender with all of my other shit pushed me to need even more, and that woman next to me became the definition of everything. Into the abyss of my tremendous hole which had developed for years. All of the prior incarnations of the representative examples of the female form and torrid flings stirred my brain like a massive lamb stew, in which each ingredient had its own little spike into my being. I was on a path and needed to muster the strength for keeping the angel out of my fiery pit. The storm in my head nearly took me off my feet. I had to pull myself from the damage and focus upon the beauty in our little universe. That was one of the most difficult uphill battles ever. But I maintained, for the most part.

Andrea and I spoke further and went deeper into our lives with the words. The Monorail floated smoothly above the ground as we enjoyed the plush seating. Over and over we held hands softly and stared into each other's eyes to such an extent as had not occurred prior to that afternoon. I felt more emotion toward her meaningful thoughts and warm demeanor. Everything was just more and more and more. Andrea was aligning so closely with what I wanted and needed -- just as Juliette -- and the satisfaction was leaving me with increased concern over the situation. She held on tight while the rail flew beneath that big train. The TTC came and went twice. We did not exit to find a shuttle ride due to the comfort, conversation, and her ability to keep me up and out of the fucking despair. Push. Just push.


The painfully obvious reasoning for my wandering hands

During one of the long speaking pauses, Andrea changed her position and sat with knees together, showing off her angelic form. Along the third ride into and through the transportation center, we spoke quietly about the past. Her eyes went back and forth from emotional and teary to playful and happy. My thoughts were heard fully, including a glean of Juliette. Andrea listened intently and allowed me the room to pause and align my words to more effectively inform her of that period. I just loved the way she sat there... quiet, thoughtful, and patiently awaiting my next words. Her attention helped to relax me and find clarity. Conversation went on and on as we held hands, eventually leading me to realize that we overlooked the TTC a fourth time and were again cruising smoothly back to Epcot. She commented that the time did not matter in the least, and that comfort was key for such a discussion. The Monorail cars were quiet and plush, leading us to carry on with intimate talk until looping all the way back. The train dropped us, after which we awaited the shuttle bus to Downtown Disney and the array of bars. The wait was short, so I held her as usual, while marveling at the tranquil manner with which she put my mind at ease. Andrea's thoughtfulness was yet another corollary to Juliette. Contained within the gesture was an additional realization that my deviant and desperate addiction to that type of attention would eventually become a problem. As much as I desired the company, each encounter -- be it long or short -- was like the chronic damage to my heart and psyche. But I could not avoid darting in whatever direction may have brought satiation to the blood. God damn it anyway. And fuck it. Onward with the darkness. With my arms around her waist from the back, and her hands on mine, she whispered...

'I want to hear all of it, love. Please.'

Well then.

The shuttle dumped its crowd in the center of Downtown, and upon us leaving most of the others behind, we went straight to the outdoor bar at the House of Blues, both for familiarity from Vegas, and knowledge that we would be happy with the distance from the inner restaurant. For what felt the tenth time, I sat and Andrea stood between my knees and looked at me in her soft way.

'Falling, love. Fucking falling.'

Uh oh, but no shit. So was I. Holy fuck, yes, but we let it happen regardless of being in such a state -- between fulfilling our needs and desires and escaping reality. The very idea of separating ourselves from the other life and steaming full-speed toward making things difficult was not a good idea, however just like the past we simply did not care. And again... more. Forward without limit.

The bar was welcoming and heated from above. We sat a long while and laid out our trials to each other. I spoke of Juliette and the entirety of that fling, leaving out nothing. Her exit from the Luxor had crippled me for some time, after which I finally reached peace with regard to the situation we had created, and knowing she found happiness and an escape from all that was on her shoulders living in Las Vegas. Everything was poured out to Andrea like paint on the pavement. She responded by listening with deep eyes and tearing up from time to time. My neediness at the outset of meeting Juliette amplified after our affair and stayed hidden within me for years. Things came to a head after walking away from the bar at DFW and subsequently meeting Andrea on the plane. And then all of that need was unloaded. But she knew it. She accepted me along with all of the bullshit attached. Andrea told me that I was a package deal. Heh. But none of the downside I dwelled upon looked the same to her. Everything was a part of me, and helped to create the person with which she connected so deeply and wonderfully. For a woman to accept me as I was after all of the shit I plowed and the heat I reflected seemed a stretch. Andrea just took me in every way conceivable and I felt as if calling her angel was perfectly suited to that unending sweetness.

The longer we relaxed at the bar, the more we spoke. On into the early evening with wine and appetizers, alongside much discussion which served to clarify our mutual pull. And for the first time since the Pensacola attachment, we were not lusting. We were experiencing one another from the inside and veering toward being quite a measure less intense with regard to our prior constant desire to declothe. That was so nice. Andrea's physical affection remained at the top, however, which left me sitting and loving her on many levels. The woman had spied me, entered my life, and eventually found a space within which had been dark and vacant for a very long time. Along such lines, I had opened myself to her and became a lifting presence that helped her to keep her head out of the proverbial oven. Each needed something, and the fusion created fulfillment all around. Incredible, to say the least. On the horizon? Not likely anything as positive. In the meantime, though, our mutual comfort and understanding carried us along. And after a big, warm hug and moments of gazing, we left that spot and began to walk the esplanade. Andrea wrapped her hands around my arm and leaned in for the slow stroll. I could smell her hair and perfume, both of which drove me nuts to a degree, yet the love was pushing all of that heated physical thought to the rear. Unbelievable. Her tenderness and caring took over and soared above all things -- even her sex. For me to have put her physical beauty to the rear -- considering my fucking lifestyle -- was speaking volumes.

'Three additional nights, angel.'
'Thank you, love.'

Oy God. I was still a fucking train wreck and she was maintenance of way. The tracks were damaged to a great degree. I derailed so many Goddamned times that the repairs required to keep me upright were extensive. Andrea had the ability to give me the eyes which mended all of the wreckage instantly, and she told me straight out that I provided similar care. Wow. There was no avoiding the love.

We moved along toward the big steamboat and enjoyed viewing the water and other vacationing people. As we continued across the whole of Downtown, space between us never developed. The words came here and there, coupled with squeezes and looks of loving eyes. We paused at the bridge for a few minutes to discuss dinner, and ended up standing together for a long while -- silent -- and holding on as if the water was going to swell over the railing and take us away for good. Andrea was all over me with eyes and hands as I returned the gestures. She felt so warm, wonderful, and fulfilling. All I needed in the whole fucking world was up against me and tightly held. Hair in my face, hands upon her waist, and my never-ending desire to climb all the way inside her lovely heart. Damn it anyway. I did not wish to think about anything past the stay in that resort, and the upside kept slapping me. We were only spending our first full day there out of six, and I was about to pull the trigger on three additional fucking nights at the Polynesian. We returned to the path toward the far east end and the seafood. Nice.


Form, unrivaled

Fulton's Crab House and its massive steamboat lounge welcomed us with smiles. To the bar and some food while we spoke quietly enough to remain below the ambient noise level. I listened to Andrea telling tales of her past while sipping wine and keeping things low and between us. Her sadness regarding life was coming through clearly as her facial features would attest. She had a way of captivating me with the soft voice and lucidity. As I heard her words, I began to relate my own difficulties, eventually bringing us to more of an understanding and commonality, although the darkness and futility I felt toward myself was still being held back like a floodgate. I listened with as much attention as was available, considering the fucking hellish ram which was on its way to me at increasing speed. Again... push.

Andrea was such a gentle soul in so many ways that I felt compelled to give myself to her completely, and hopefully and the happiness she so deserved. As much as was going on inside me, I simply could not bring it to her. I had to hold the fucking line and make her happy and comfortable. During our relaxing stay, the bar was full from end to end with vacationing folks full of excitement over their respective adventures throughout the World. We kept to ourselves unless speaking with the bartenders, who made every effort in keeping us satisfied with food and drink. They sensed our need to be as alone as possible within the crowd, and upon thanking them and readying ourselves for another walk, I dropped a hefty tip which resulted in firm handshakes in appreciation. Out the door, clinging again, and toward the opposite end of the downtown. We spoke little, instead letting our eyes do the talking, and did her eyes ever speak volumes. Big, bright, loving puppy eyes looking at me with such feeling that I became a puddle again. I was so close to gushing in her direction like a failing dam that I resisted much, and that led Andrea to halting us and holding tight while staring with those fucking windows which started it all. She could see that I was struggling to hide the words. We stood still for minutes, hugging, until finally I could not hold the waterfall any longer.

'I love you, angel.' Tears, hugs, eyes bigger than ever.
'I love you too, my dearest.'

Oh God, there it was. Juliette all over again. Fuck me. Our situation began to roll up in my head just like a rug containing a dead body. Everything flew into me quickly... all of the past issues, the runs from home so many times, the call girls which I purchased at high cost with little regard for sense, and the occasional need to throw my sorry self into the nearest gaping hole. And I was a hole, for the millionth time. Andrea held me tightly, whispering her deep feelings over and over. Her fingernails were poking through my shirt as she gripped for dear life. I heard the haphazard breathing and smelled her perfume. My mind was overwhelmed with compositions of damaging dialog and uplifting, loving words. Their diametrically opposing positions were battling within me as if I had little chance of quieting either. I stood there, warm in her embrace, and wishing we could be ourselves but at a different time and far away place where none of the past could follow. The need, the desire, the addiction, the fucking scars, all in me and over me as a gigantic pour without limit. God. How did I continue to place my weakened self in such turmoil? She was a drug. She was THE drug.

Continuing along the beautiful pathway, we held on as always, and thought of returning to the Polynesian to be alone again. Sex? Fuck no. Just intimacy and need. There were less words than before Fulton's, but more glances with much feeling. Andrea had become something I failed to fathom, and from out of nowhere stole my heart from me and bonded it to hers. And what a beautiful heart it was. We matched in so many ways, however with little understanding due to the quick attachment and yearning which took my thinking and narrowed it for our escape from everything. My past and hers were looming, the worry began to congeal, and yet our options were still wide fucking open like the throttle on a race car. All the way, in fact. We had the freedom to move and do anything we needed, thank Christ. The love needed time, and we had to learn more. Much more. Days. Possibly weeks. We stole the time and space, and I secured seemingly endless resources which could take us where we wished. A longer stay at the Polynesian began to look unnecessary because we only needed to be together and that was not going to change soon. A different location -- maybe something more remote -- started to wind its way into my brain, especially considering the Disney vacation still had days remaining. Hmm.


Her breasts and midsection where my mouth lived

We walked toward the shuttle stop, hand in hand, and more slowly than at any other time since the first flight. Andrea said nothing, however her eyes were telegraphing so much to me that I nearly lost step several times. We paused, embraced, continued. All of the want within me to dive yet again into her pants was gone in favor of simply holding on. I wanted to be against her, endlessly and without interruption from any outside force. The damage and memories were combining inside and pressing me down with the mass of dark matter. Pressing, shoving, hurting. Andrea carried herself as if nothing had changed. My hands stayed off her ass for once, and my head was far from her delicate sex. I could not help but focus upon what we were becoming and what came before. The issues which led me to leave home in the first place were then taking a back seat to such a new development in my heart. Fucking hell, of all the directions and random Goddamned places and people in the world, I found myself struck to the core by a soul contained within an angel. I tried to use that feeling for bringing my mood up, and we still had other parks to explore and enjoy which helped, too. The atmosphere felt dark and had to brighten. In the meantime, though, we carried the gray along to the transportation area.

We boarded the shuttle, rode quietly back to the TTC which we had seen so many times that day, and stepped back into the wonderful comfort of the Monorail car. The train slid us around Seven Seas Lagoon, finally arriving back at our resort and dropping us where we began the day hours earlier. Half loaded, half walking, half sobbing. Into the room, where Andrea threw the entirety of her beautiful clothing to the wind and dove under the covers. I stood there staring at her big, emotional eyes for a moment, after which she reached a hand in my direction and begged me to lay next to her.

'Are we doomed, love?'
'Yes, angel, we are, but it is ok.'

Just fucking damn. Her voice was as tiny as that first fateful phone call. I stripped nude, melted into her embrace, and drifted off to sleep. Thank God we found isolation and the bed, but still... the burning end of the street had been illuminated.